This is for you.
The one who just googled:
"what the heck does a placenta do?"
The one who just googled:
"best bottles to use for breastfeeding".
The one who just googled:
"morning sickness relief".
"best way to bond with my baby"
"what is rhogam?"
"can I go snowboarding in my second trimester?"
"what foods to avoid while pregnant"
"questions to ask my OB when pregnant"
"can I get a false positive on a pregnancy test?"
"is sex safe during my pregnancy?"
"why is my baby moving less today?"
"ways to induce labor"
Does you search history look a bit like this?
Then this one is for you!
Goodness love you, we all do it.
There's not a thing wrong with it and when used well Google is awesome.
But I'm going to take a second and let you know a secret...
Google doesn't know it all!
(and the "Mommy Boards" certainly don't know it all either)
Google is a great tool, it has revolutionized our society;
But sometimes having a "know it all" resource at your finger tips can hurt you.
It can stop you from trusting your gut and raise those fear levels past the breaking point.
What is your gut telling you?
It really does know best when it comes to this parent thing: What is it telling you?
Have you talked to your midwife/doctor?
Your midwife/doctor is extensively trained and so is their staff. (Nurses are the bomb!) They aren't against you, I promise! And if you feel they are, find a new provider you feel comfortable with.
Have you asked your doula?
Any good, professional doula will help you sort through those emotions, help you find/offer you some options, and support whatever you decide.
Have you talked to other parents you trust?
Swallow your pride and ask all the things; Most seasoned parents love to help out new parents. And if you don't know any, go to the grocery store and chat up a mom in isle 5 with 3 kids in tow. (And if you ever happen to see me, talk it up, I LOVE it!)
Have you found reliable sources?
There are certain places on the internet that are credible. (Your midwife/doctor, nurses, and doula can help point you in the right directions)
Mommy Board opinion posts are not reliable sources.
(Sorry Cafemom lovers!)
So, my dearest GOOGLER...
Take what you read with a grain of salt!
Know that your are already being great simply by questioning all the things.
You are enough
and you are an AMAZING parent even if Google tells you otherwise.
#doula #google #lafayette #kokomo #amazingparent #newmom #nonjudgmental
I wish they'd warn you about the LONG days.
They warn you about the poopy diapers and the sleepless nights, but no one ever warns you about the long days.
Not the days where you hear the baby cry at 3 am and never go back to sleep and not the nights when your 4 year old feels like it is party time when it is already way past bed time,
But the LONG days.
The days where you feel like the minutes and seconds are crawling by.
When you feel like another word from a Doc McStuffins episode will make you scream.
When the fourth cup of water is asked for and only one sip is taken before getting dumped on the floor.
When the dog decides to roll around in poop and jump onto the couch.
When the only relief you think you have, is now "coming home late".
When your kindergartner comes home and announces he has to make a race car out of a box, due tomorrow.
When the only thing you can do is go to the bathroom and shut the door as fast as possible, only to hear "Mommy... Mommy... Mom... Mom... Mommy!"
When all you need is to take a shower, but the baby is cutting teeth and is screaming every time you put them down.
When all you want is another adult to talk to, but your anxiety keeps you from even texting a friend.
These are the LONG days.
When you are touched out.
When you walk outside to cry for just a second (because gosh damn it you need a second alone) and a child has already found you.
When you want to get in the car and drive away.
When you'd pay someone just to do the laundry (if the dryer wasn't broken).
When the morning sickness means a puke bowl on the couch because the parental duties don't end just because you can't even keep food down.
They say enjoy it, you'll miss it when its gone.
And you, just like me, probably have no doubt you will miss a lot of things when all the kids are grown and gone...
But these long days can be overshadowing.
They can make it so hard to see the greatness through the fog.
You are not alone though:
Even on the LONGEST of days, we are in this together!
We are parents
and the LONG days make the short days that much sweeter.
#lafayette #kokomo #indianadoula #bestdoula #parenthood
There's a glimmer of change floating around...
Something that shouldn't need to be changed, but by golly it is happening, finally:
PROFESSIONALS, getting PAID
a living wage for work they do!
I know, it sounds silly when I say it like that, but up until recently this was a somewhat unheard of concept in a lot of professions, including doula work.
Getting paid in feelings.
Getting paid in word of mouth reviews.
Sounds great, right?... If that's the way bills were paid and families were fed.
You will have these feelings, anyhow.
(Actually better ones because you have something tangible to take home to your family)
If you do an outstanding job as a professional,
people will talk about you, anyhow.
(Actually better reviews because they really valued your service)
So, why should we be paying a PROFESSIONAL when someone who is a hobbyist will do it for free?
You know the old saying "You get what you pay for!"
It is TRUE! You do really get what you pay for. How much does someone who is getting nothing tangible from you invest into you, really?
How do you know they are even going to show up?!
Changing the future.
Imagine being so in love with a certain profession, that you decide to make it your career. You go to trainings, study, and put blood, sweat, and tears
into creating a legit business...
Now imagine this was your son or daughter: But the problem is there's always someone right beside them saying they'll do it for free, so they can't make ends meet!
This is for the future. For the photographers and the artists and musicians, who have such talent and deserve to make money for their hard work!
Free isn't ever really free.
As a doula, I'm on call 24 hours a day 7 days a week for months at a time; every single day! I leave my house at a moments notice and sometimes miss really important family events. The only justification I have for these actions is that it is "my job" and
I make a living wage doing what I do.
My family understands this and supports it.
But what if it was free?
I can't rationalize any of this, unless I am paid in proportion to my sacrifice and my family's sacrifice.
(Which is how any normal 9-5 job works as well)
I will not return home with no compensation for my family.
I will not make them pay (and neither should you) for whatever services I have provided.
Would you work for free?
With minimum wage arguments back and forth all over the place; it is clear we all deserve to be paid a wage for services we provide!
Why are professional small business owners any different?
What goes around, comes back around.
Ever help someone move; Then a year later have them ask again because they know you helped once already?
You provide services for low to no cost and it is then expected again in the future!
(And remember that word of mouth thing you were looking for? They are telling people you did it for free. What do you think others will be expecting?)
I have spent thousands of dollars and hours/days/weeks away from my family to do different training programs to be able to offer the BEST doula and placenta services.
I have insurance and rock solid legal contracts that ensure your safety and mine.
I value my time
AND MY CLIENTS VALUE MY TIME!
Because I'm a professional.
And NO PROFESSIONAL should have "FREE" in their vocabulary!
#lafayette #kokomo #bestdoula #indiana #notforfree #birthprofessional
BEING THE "PERFECT" NEW MOM IS A COMPLETELY OBTAINABLE GOAL
AND HERE ARE A FEW STEPS TO ENSURE YOUR SUCCESS:
#1- LISTEN TO EVERY PIECE OF ADVICE YOU HEAR AND PUT IT INTO ACTION IMMEDIATELY
"Breast is best!"
"It is best to have the baby sleep with you"
"Cloth diapers are so much better"
"Make sure you read ... it has the best info"
"CIO is the only way to get your baby to sleep through the night"
"You will spoil them if you hold them too much"
"Your baby won't love you if you don't hold them all the time"
The first step in being the PERFECT new mom is making sure you listen to ALL of the advice you hear and do it all. If you even let one small piece of all the advice and opinions you hear go undone, you will fail and not be a PERFECT new mom.
Your instincts are poop and everyone else knows best.
#2- DON'T ASK FOR HELP
Asking for help makes you look weak; And what PERFECT mom is weak? You can do it all by yourself: Food, cleaning, laundry, shopping, recovery, bonding, support, sleep! Who really needs family, friends, and a postpartum doula to help you get through those first few weeks? There's no way the PERFECT new mom would ask for help!
#3- DON'T TAKE TIME TO RECOVER MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY
Who needs to rest and recover?
Time to bond with the baby?
You have this down and to be the PERFECT new mom you have to be go go go from the second the baby is born!
And to get BONUS PERFECT new mom points for #3:
make sure to have every person you can over as soon as possible after the baby is born
#4- BOUNCE BACK IMMEDIATELY
"Baby Weight" means nothing to you; You start right back into that workout regime and perfect eating even before the placenta is out. Being the PERFECT new mom means you look exactly like you did prior to ever being pregnant.
In fact, it means you look and feel better than you ever have before, seconds after birth!
#5- KEEP TRUE EVERY "I'LL NEVER...." STATEMENT YOU SAID
All those "I'll never..." statements you said before you had kids; As a PERFECT new mom you keep them all true! Don't ever let your child sleep with you, give them a bottle, or do anything that would go against something you said in the past.
Even if it is what you want to do now and would make your life easier! Being the PERFECT new mom isn't about what is easy; it is about making sure you are PERFECT at all times forever, including holding true to every word.
With these 5 easy steps, you'll be well on your way to being the "PERFECT" new mom!
In case you're like the rest of us (human):
Just do the exact opposite of everything I've just said and be the BEST mom you can be
with what you have and on your own terms.
Being the PERFECT new mom doesn't mean being perfect;
It means you are perfect just the way you are for your child!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! YOU ARE ROCKING IT!!!
#mothersday #doula #perfectmom #lafayette #kokomo #indiana
Jessica Anne Dill
Mom of 5, Wife, Doula trainer, Professional Birth and Postpartum Doula, Placenta Specialist, and best friend of coffee and long naps!