Dear Mom who needs to say "I'm Sorry",
Yeah, I said it.
No matter how old you are, it sucks to feel like you've done something wrong; Especially when it comes to your children.
It sucks even more when you know you need to say "Sorry" for what you've done.
Admitting personal failures is tough for everyone.
We've all been there:
On our last leg of energy for the day,
completely mentally bogged down by something else,
haven't showered in 4 days,
and the house is a mess.
And then you LOSE IT!
Lose your cool.
That mom that you want to be flies out the window and you yell and scream
about the kids dropping a cup of water on the floor
Or asking you how bees make honey for the 5th time in a row
Or about them asking what is for dinner (they need to eat again?)
Whatever the breaking point is, you YELL. And I don't just mean the "oh crap don't touch that", I mean the YELL that only your family knows exists.
The one that means you are at your wits end and can't handle another thing.
You walk outside. You run to the bathroom to take a shower. You do anything to get out of the situation as soon as possible because your blood feels like it will boil out of your body. How the heck can NO ONE else see you're about to explode if you have to replace one more toilet paper roll?
You get out for a second and breathe.
And it hits...
You just SCREAMED. Screamed at your kids.
Because they just wanted to know what was for dinner?
Because they wanted to go outside?
You lost it.
You broke the trust and you're supposed to be the adult. How can they trust someone who will lose it like this?
But now is where you have to swallow it and become a better parent.
The moment that changes things from horrible in your mind into a possible teaching moment and lesson in humility.
You go back in the house and there they are
They look at you and you look at them.
You turn off the TV and you look every one of them in the eyes and you start to cry.
"I'm Sorry," you say.
"I'm sorry for losing my cool and yelling at you guys over something that really wasn't anything. I am so focused on other things I lost it and I'm so sorry. Can you please forgive me?"
They look at you and say nearly in unison,
"Its okay mommy! I understand, we get angry too. Its okay.
I love you!"
But guess what?
Sometimes swallowing that pride is all it takes.
Your kids love you. They love the HELL out of you actually.
And saying you are sorry is hard sometimes, but showing them you are human and screw up too is one of the best lessons you can teach them.
To the Mom who needs to say "I'm sorry"...
Just do it.
But for your sake and your kids (we've ALL been there) just say it.
With nothing but love and understanding,
#lafayetteindiana #kokomoindiana #newmom #momlife #parent #doula
Jessica Anne Dill