My eyes fly open.
I grab my phone and it is you.
It is 2:32am, I actually got some sleep, YES!
Okay, deep breath.
"Hey! How's it going?"
"Good, she's doing great, but we are both ready for you to come now."
"I'm sure she is doing amazing, I'm getting up and heading out now. I'll be there shortly."
My husband has already figured out I'm headed out, he knows this drill very well.
I get out of bed and put on my clothes I set out last night, I figured this call would be coming.
I walk down my stairs and start my coffee maker,
there won't be time for it to finish before I grab a cup and go, but a little is better than none.
I brush my teeth, throw on a little make up (because no one needs to see that),
fill up my water bottle, grab my bag, purse, and keys, fill up my coffee mug, and out to the car I go.
Crap, I didn't give my husband a kiss goodbye!
But there he is, at the door,
a quick smooch and back into the car I go.
The drive isn't too long, but it is always a great time for me to think.
I think about you and how you're doing right at this moment (I bet, like a rockstar!)
I think about how the rest of your birth will play out,
what my role will be in supporting you,
and of course, about the many births before yours
and just how amazing it is that every one is always so different.
Pull into the usual parking spot at the hospital (yeah, I have those)
and send you a quick text to let you know I'm on my way up
and to ensure I have the right room number.
"Can I help you?"
"Yes, I'm Jessica Dill. ******'s doula, they are in room 4."
As I walk down the hall I pass the nurses station, I know a lot of them
and we exchange some kind smiles and hello's.
They know why I'm here, we work together often.
I crack the door open a bit,
"It is just me, Jessica."
"Come on in! Thank goodness you're here!"
And then my world stands still.
Because I'm here for you.
No matter what.
Through all the ups and downs and "I can't do this, Jessica!"
I know you can do it.
"I'll be here and I can't do it for you, but I'm here with you."
I'm your birth doula and I'm here for you.
your world stands still.
Jessica Anne Dill